In this article, Nadav Nishri draws a comparison between community mediation and the trusted figures people have turned to in traditional communities: the Qes in Ethiopian Jewish communities, a local rabbi or a Druze sheikh. The comparison concerns listening, responsibility and helping people make peace. It does not make the mediator a religious authority or a judge.
From this perspective, the New Partnership mediator has a social role that extends beyond being a formal alternative to court: helping people find a way through conflict while remaining connected to the relationships and communities that matter to them.
Trust beyond formal authority
Nishri describes the community figure whom people approach about a disagreement between neighbours, a marital quarrel or a parent’s difficulty accepting a child’s choices. Such a person’s influence can rest on trust, presence, a broad perspective and familiarity with the human fabric of everyday life.
That attentiveness, serious sense of responsibility and ability to work through disagreement are also central to community mediation.
When communities change
The article explores the tensions that can arise when familiar community structures and forms of authority change. Children may grow up with a culture different from their parents’, while family members navigate inherited values, personal choices and belonging.
Old ways of resolving disputes may no longer answer every need. A mediator working with New Partnership therefore needs to understand the wider family and community system, alongside the immediate disagreement.
A method attentive to tradition
New Partnership is a way of seeing conflict, as well as a set of techniques. The disagreement may involve identity, values, belonging and responsibility, not only the two participants’ stated demands.
Alongside asking what happened or what someone wants, the mediator can ask:
- What role does the community play here?
- What might the consequences be for children, parents or the family’s reputation?
- Does the proposed arrangement also serve values that matter to you?
The mediator helps people understand one another across traditional and modern ways of living, without deciding which culture or life choice is correct.
Make room for community without handing it control
A couple’s dispute may also affect parents and extended family. An argument between siblings can shape holidays, visits and a whole network of relationships. Differences between generations may remain in the background even when no one names them.
Community-aware mediation takes this wider setting into account without allowing it to run the process. It seeks neither submission to community pressure nor automatic exclusion of the community.
The modern elder as a facilitator
The analogy is about a trusted role, rather than replacing a Qes, rabbi or other community leader. The mediator listens, understands relationships and works without coercion. The work involves:
- Seeing the family and its surrounding relationships.
- Using language that respects values, identity and belonging.
- Connecting people, alongside addressing practical problems.
- Helping build agreements and restore trust.
The mediator does not take a side or persuade anyone to abandon their tradition. The aim is to help people remain connected while navigating change. Decisions stay with the participants.
An example from work with Ethiopian Jewish families
Nishri describes couples who wonder whether to involve the Qes, what the family will think and how the community will view a divorce. In these situations, the mediator attends to reputation and dignity, offers space to discuss matters that may be difficult to say at home, and may involve community members when the participants want that—while preserving the couple’s autonomy.
This recognises that family life has emotional, cultural and social dimensions alongside its legal arrangements.
An anchor for changing relationships
As life changes, people may seek someone who understands their language and values while helping them address present-day challenges. The mediator’s contribution is to hold the conversation and its boundaries, giving each person room to express themselves. The purpose is to support connection and choice, rather than decide the family’s future on its behalf.