Nadav Nishri speaks directly to teenagers whose parents are separating. This detailed episode guide is translated from the original Hebrew recording.
00:00 — A moment that can shake your world
Nadav remembers receiving his mother’s call about his parents’ divorce while working by the Sea of Galilee at seventeen. Although it was not a complete surprise, he froze. His first thoughts were that it was his fault and that he should now take on more responsibility. His parents had not asked him to do either.
That memory is why this episode addresses you directly, rather than only telling parents what children need. A family changing can feel enormous even when adults are trying to handle it carefully. You deserve support in your own right.
04:11 — Their crisis is not your job to manage
Seeing a parent cry, struggle or lose confidence may make you want to become the strong person who holds everything together. Caring about them is understandable. Becoming their counsellor, negotiator or substitute partner is not your responsibility.
Parents need support from other adults and professionals. You can still be a child or teenager, keep up your friendships and interests, and ask for care. You do not have to earn that care by keeping the household emotionally stable.
05:42 — You did not cause the divorce
Arguments may have happened around your school, timetable or behaviour. That does not make you the cause of the separation. Those subjects may be where an existing conflict between adults becomes visible.
Nadav repeats the message because guilt can persist even when you know the facts: you did not cause it, and fixing the couple’s relationship is not your task. You do not need to become a different person to make your parents stay together.
07:10 — More than one feeling is allowed
You may feel sad, angry, relieved, frightened, numb or several of these at once. A parent going out or looking happier may feel strange; seeing another difficult day may affect you too. Your feelings do not have to match theirs or follow a neat order.
A feeling is different from acting on it. Anger can be spoken about safely; hurting yourself or someone else is not the way to carry it. If feelings become frightening or hard to manage, tell a trusted adult and ask for help.
09:25 — You are not the referee
You do not have to decide who is right, carry messages or support one parent against the other. If someone tries to recruit you into the dispute, that is a reason to involve a trusted teacher, counsellor, relative or other responsible adult.
Not choosing a side does not mean hiding harm or keeping dangerous secrets. If something makes you feel unsafe, say so to an adult who can help. Protecting yourself is different from judging the adults’ relationship.
11:31 — It is okay not to know how you feel
Relief one minute and sadness the next do not mean you are handling this badly. Nadav compares emotional overwhelm to being caught in a whirlpool: fighting every feeling can add to the exhaustion. His sea story is a metaphor for noticing overwhelm, not swimming advice.
You can take a pause, speak to someone and focus on what would help you feel steadier today. There is no deadline for understanding everything, and you do not need to pretend you are fine because other people expect progress.
14:08 — Your family is changing shape
Nadav prefers rebuilding a family to “breaking it up”. The couple’s relationship may end while parenting continues in a different structure. This perspective can make room for continuity as well as loss.
It does not mean every practical arrangement is already settled or that you have to like the change. Adults remain responsible for organising safe homes, care and the decisions that affect family life. Your needs should inform those decisions; they are not yours to negotiate alone.
15:23 — You may care about both parents
You do not have to demonstrate loyalty by rejecting someone you love. One possible sentence is: “I know this is hard for you. I care about both of you, and I don’t want to be in the middle.”
You are also allowed complicated feelings and boundaries. This message does not require closeness with someone who harms or frightens you. A trusted adult can help when a conversation with a parent feels difficult or unsafe.
16:27 — Talk to people who care, not people seeking gossip
A good friend, an older sibling, a relative, a teacher or a counsellor may be someone to start with. Look for a person who listens and cares about how you are, rather than pressing for the private details of why your parents are separating.
You can keep family details private and still ask for support. If one person cannot help, try another responsible adult. You do not have to carry this only with friends your own age, or protect adults by staying silent.
16:45 — Give your body some support too
Nadav names five everyday supports: breathing, food, sleep, movement and talking. His breathing example slows the out-breath; you can simply breathe gently without forcing or holding your breath. These are small supports, not a test you have to pass.
Regular meals, enough rest and manageable activity can help you get through a demanding period. Going for a walk with a friend is one example. If distress keeps affecting sleep, eating, school or daily life, let a responsible adult know so they can help you get appropriate support.
20:22 — Say what you need
You may need quiet, practical help, someone to listen or professional support. You may also not know yet. “I’m not sure what I need, but I’m having a hard time” is a valid starting point.
A parent who is overwhelmed may not notice everything. That is not your fault or a demand that you explain perfectly. Ask another trusted adult to help you communicate if you need to. Your voice matters without making you responsible for the outcome.
21:18 — Boundaries can protect your relationship
If a parent criticises the other in front of you, you can say: “I don’t want to hear this. It is hard for me.” You can also explain that exams, activities, friends and rest need space in your week.
You can express preferences about routines and time in each home. Adults must manage parenting arrangements and any legal decisions. You do not need to enforce a boundary alone if it is ignored; ask an adult or professional for help instead of becoming the family’s mediator.
23:23 — You are part of the family, not the problem
Adults may talk a great deal about where you stay, money or routines because your care matters. Being the subject of those decisions does not make you the problem. You also do not have to become the solution that restores everyone else’s hope.
Nadav closes with encouragement that change can become more manageable and that support can help people grow. This is hope, not a promise that time alone fixes everything or that you must turn pain into strength. Tell someone how you are, accept help and keep space for the rest of your life. Parents listening can use the episode to hear their child’s experience, then take responsibility for providing the support it calls for.
Listen to episode 156
The original audio and video are in Hebrew. This text is an edited guide, not a verbatim transcript or an English recording.