Divorce mediation is a process that, by its nature, takes time. But how much time? That’s the big and important question. If we quantify the average number of hours needed for a couple entering divorce mediation to reach a final divorce agreement, we would arrive at an average of 10 to 15 hours of direct mediation, including the time required for the mediator to prepare the agreement. However, when asked how long these mediation hours span, there’s no precise or correct answer. Each couple that comes to me for mediation needs a different amount of time to reach a divorce agreement. While the number of hours generally remains within the range set by the couple at the start of the process, each couple has its own pace and needs.
Sometimes, there’s a need to extend the mediation over a few weeks or months due to an emotional need to process and mature, or to examine objective possibilities that require a defined period over which the parties have no control (such as requesting information from a public authority, an appraiser’s assessment, obtaining pension fund statements, etc.). A well-known rule in mediation is that the best outcome is one built on a foundation of objective truth. In other words, the more the divorce agreement is based on facts, figures, and data that cannot be disputed, the clearer and more agreeable the final outcome will be for both parties. Therefore, when one party asks for more time for processing and/or gathering information, my advice is to give them the time they need.
How Long Does It Take to Get Divorced Through Mediation?
So now the question arises: How much time should be given to the party that needs more time? Is there a need to set a limit? My answer to that is yes! Even when one of the parties requests a break for any reason, it’s important to define how long the break will last and what should or shouldn’t happen during that time. During breaks, it’s crucial for both parties to have certainty about what is happening and what isn’t. Divorce proceedings are naturally complex and often provoke fear and anxiety. Uncertainty amplifies this fear and makes it harder to reach the finish line in an optimal way. It’s important to operate with transparency even during breaks and to keep the other party fully informed about anything that might heighten their concerns. When the other party sleeps well at night, so will you.