No one wants to drag their family to court. A family entering the legal arena knows well the state it enters in but does not know how it will emerge from there. There are countless stories about family disputes that snowballed in court, lasted for many years, generating anguish and an even greater tear in the family, one that could not be mended.
The reason these types of conflicts end badly for all parties derives from the fact that disputes in the family are neither technical nor procedural. Rather, they are emotional and flood history, frustrations, internal stresses and a myriad of other feelings. Ignoring these feelings and emotions will not allow for an effective solution, nor will it generate the possibility to fix the broken relationship. Hence, more and more families that entered a conflict these days prefer going to family mediation where they get a holistic solution, both for the conflict’s emotional and practical aspects.
To understand the advantages a mediation process has over legal proceedings when comes to family conflicts, read the words of the former Supreme Court President, Hon. Judge Dorit Beinish, who wrote: “the material presented to me, as mentioned above, showed scars and caused pain, suffering and great bitterness from all parties. Before we conclude, it should be added that we tend to understand the appealers who considered themselves at harm from the will in which they were cut off from the assets their father commanded to his wife and younger son. The evidence clearly shows that the relationship between the appealers and the deceased were loving and close, and there is no argument about this. As we said in a different matter, also in this case we believe that the parties would have been better off – if only since they are related – to have reached some kind of understanding and settlement”.
The Hon. President Beinish touched upon the core of the issue in all that regards family feuds – a family is not a legal event and must not become one as the results of such move may be disastrous for the family. Family feuds that reached the court often led to a complete rift between family members. A rift that may last for years and affect the wider family circles as well.
Imagine brothers caught in an inheritance dispute surrounding a will or a family business, who do not hire lawyers and try to fight one another to get the most of the other party but, instead, one party invites the other to mediation. This move alone can lower the flames and show the other party that there is a will to talk and reach agreements rather than fight.
In the mediation room, unlike at the court room, the brothers will not only get a chance to talk about the technical details of their dispute, but also to reveal all that is going on under the surface, to reveal and discuss the feelings that have accumulated throughout the years and increased during the dispute. Their pain and frustration will have a place, and each of them will have the opportunity to understand the pain of the other. This is a key factor not only for solving the dispute in an agreed upon way, but also to maintain the relationship afterwards.
The advantages of the family mediation process are thus clear and evident, especially in regard to family feuds surrounding issues of wills and inheritance, second generation (‘continuing sons’), family business, etc.
Family mediation is a confidential process that allows the family the freedom and confidence to openly and sincerely discuss the crisis and its triggers. Family feuds are characterized by many feelings surrounding and influencing all parties involved. Confidentiality and privacy of the family mediation eventually bring the best possible solution, empowering the family, strengthening its relations and helping the family members stick together, maintaining the family unity and its honor.
In the mediation process the mediator, jointly with the family members, build creative mechanisms to solve future differences of opinions. Once the family members were able to face the current crisis and emerge empowered, they would know how to better face future crises in the family and out of it.
Family mediation saves a great fortune the parties would have spent had they initially gone to court. As you know, legal proceedings often last for at least several months and, in quite a few cases, years.
Q&A About Family Mediation
Q: Is the law binding during a family mediation process?
A: When the feuds are internal, you rarely have to consult the letter of the law. The law can serve as a point of reference and a harness to decision making during mediation but we can certainly come up with creative ideas that go beyond the letter of the law, all according to the good will of the parties and to the agreements they come to during the family mediation process.
Q: Is an agreement achieved through family mediation legally binding?
A: Certainly. An agreement achieved through mediation, approved and signed by all parties, is legally binding. If necessary, it can be submitted to court in order to make it a verdict.
Q: How long does it take to reach agreements in family mediation?
A: Family mediation usually requires 3-5 sessions to reach an agreed solution. It depends on the number of parties involved, the intensity of the mental flames, the level of existing communication between the parties and the practical questions at hand.
Q: Where does the mediation take place?
A: The mediation can be held in any of our offices. Everything will be scheduled according to your convenience and the availability of your favorite mediator.
Q: Who are the mediators in Nishri Mediator offices?
A: Our mediators are senior and experienced mediators, who underwent the best required trainings and accumulated great experience during the years in various mediations.