Mediation as a way of thinking and living
I developed the New Partnership Method through my daily work in the mediation room. Again and again, I met people who wanted calm, security and good relationships, yet the way they tried to achieve them pushed them apart. To move through disagreement, we need to understand what drives each person, what frightens them and how they want their life to look.
The question guiding the process is: how do we want to live from here on? From the answers, we define shared goals and build a practical path towards them. This connects people’s feelings and needs with the decisions they make and the responsibilities they take on.
ListenUnderstanding opens a way forward.NEW PARTNERSHIP · NADAV NISHRI
How the New Partnership Method works
When someone says they want respect, what do they mean? Being heard without interruption? Being consulted before decisions are made? People arriving on time? In mediation, we stop and ask. The more clearly we understand the words, the easier it is to identify what needs to change in everyday life.
Someone who is angry or afraid finds it hard to listen and consider new possibilities. So we make room for hurt, disappointment and concerns. Understanding what each person is trying to protect and what they need to feel secure allows us to start looking for solutions that address both people’s needs.
What will an ordinary day look like when the disagreement is resolved? How will you make decisions? How will you talk when something goes wrong? These questions turn a general wish for peace into a clear picture of the life you want to build. That picture helps identify shared goals and assess which solutions advance them.
An agreement needs to work after people leave the mediation table. We clarify who is responsible for each action, when it will happen and how decisions will be made if circumstances change. We also build a way to talk and resolve future disagreements, so the partnership can handle real life.
Think of a disagreement that concerns you and ask the other person: “What would you like to be different once we resolve this?” Let them finish. Ask why it matters and explain in your own words what you understood. Then share what matters to you. This is how you begin a conversation both of you can take part in.
In the introductory course, I teach the foundations of mediation and the New Partnership Method in ten lessons. We learn to identify needs, ask questions and guide conversations towards understanding and cooperation. You can begin practising at home, at work and in your relationships. The course provides a foundation for learning and practice; professional mediation requires further training and experience.
You can start in your next conversation: ask, listen and explore the future you want to build together.